Whiskey Lullaby
by Akela-Nakamura
Summary: This is a Songfic based on the song "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss. Suicide trigger. NaLu angst. I apologize in advance for the mass amount of emotion this may cause. Rating is "M" due to clearly indicated but not described Suicide.


**Okay, I'm warning you right now. THIS IS SUPER SAD. Also, this has a serious Suicide Trigger, so if your easily triggered, please, don't read. **

* * *

"_She put him out, like the burning end of a midnight cigarette. _

_She broke his heart; he spent his whole life tryin' to forget,_

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time, _

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind…" _

Natsu downed another shot, scowling at it. God, she would hate this. Hate this him. It had been years. Years since he'd last held her. Years since he'd smiled at her, laughing with her. Years since they had passionately made love. Years more since they'd slowly, softly, brought each other to their peak. Too damn long since he'd looked into her eyes and found love.

It had ended so quickly.

Their breakup had been quick, violent.

And he had never gotten over it.

But dammit! How could he trust her after what she'd done? To this day, he wondered if it was true. He wondered if she'd really betrayed him, or if he had really misunderstood.

Had his Lucy actually loved another? Had she really cheated on him? He chucked the shot glass, barely hearing it shatter through the whiskey that fogged his mind, picked up the bottle and took a good, long drink. Was he not good enough? All he had were questions, no answers.

No. None at all.

Leaning heavily against his kitchen counter, he lowered himself onto a stool. Then simply placed his head on the counter.

Getting drunk was supposed to make his problems go away, but after years of drinking, he knew it wasn't true. No, getting drunk dulled the pain all right, but it only came back stronger in the morning.

And with the added bonus of a hangover and memories of his drunken thoughts to haunt him during the day, until he wanted to be drunk twenty four/seven.

The phone rang, and he knew without looking that it was probably Gray. He was the only one who still called on a regular basis, asking Natsu if he was okay, or trying to irritate him out of the house. Loke called every now and again, Gajeel too. But they had long since given up reaching their friend. He knew it. He knew they no longer cared. He knew they were just waiting for him to end it. To end it all.

Gray called only for form. Only to make sure Natsu was still suffering. In his mind, unraveled from the alcohol, he saw Lucy, his beautiful Lucy, flirting with a faceless man. The man became Gray, then Loke, Gajeel, Jet, Droy, and more.

_All lies,_ a small part of his brain whispered. _Lies. Lucy didn't cheat with your friends. _

The rest of his mind, his tired, whiskey soaked mind, knew there was only one course of action.

"_Until the night, he put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger,_

_And finally drank away her memory,_

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger,_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees…" _

"No. Oh, god Natsu, no." Gray didn't know why he'd come to Natsu's so early in the morning, but he'd had a feeling that something was wrong. His call last night hadn't been answered. Lately, that wasn't unusual.

Especially troubling is that Gajeel had called Gray last night. Gajeel never called Gray. He only called to speak to Gray's wife, Juvia. Last night though, Gajeel had told Gray that he thought something was up. Natsu was doing worse than usual. Gray had been hesitant to jump to conclusions; Natsu was strong. He would pull though this. He'd been saying that for years though. He'd always believed it. He'd come to put himself at ease. So he could call Gajeel and tell him that everything was fine.

But now, standing in Natsu's apartment, dread coated his stomach, his throat.

He knew before he opened Natsu's bedroom door.

"_We found him with his face down in the pillow,_

_With a note that said, 'I'll love her 'till I die.'_

_And when we buried him beneath the willow, _

_The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby." _

* * *

"_The rumors flew, but nobody knew how much she blamed herself._

_For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath,_

_She finally drank her pain away a little at a time,_

_But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind…"_

Lucy couldn't believe it. How could he do it? How could he…she couldn't even _think _it. It…it just didn't fit the picture she had of him, always grinning, always full of energy and love.

So alive.

She blamed herself. How could she not? If…if she'd never wondered if Natsu was _the one_ if she'd never thought about leaving, about loving another, he'd be alive. She'd been with him. They'd be happy. But she had doubted. How could she be in love with a man who was nothing more than a child at times? How could he be right for her? She could just see her father, looking at her with such disapproval. Surely, his daughter could do better.

And she could…couldn't she?

She was beautiful, rich, and could have any man she wanted. She'd chosen a pink-haired, slightly psycho man.

In a moment of doubt, of questioning, of her cursed old Heiress thinking, she'd tried to see if she was better off with a different man.

Natsu had found out.

She had found out that Natsu was _the one_ and she'd screwed up. Big time. Hugely. She didn't _deserve_ such an open, kind-hearted man. She'd been selfish and conceited. Wrong and hurtful. She'd tried. She'd tried to see if they could work past it. But he couldn't trust her and she couldn't trust herself or make herself believe she deserved such a perfect man.

They'd gone their separate ways.

Smiling sadly into her whiskey, she downed another shot. She imaged Natsu had been doing much the same that night. Oddly, they'd both found that whiskey was their alcohol of choice for drowning pain.

And like Natsu, she'd discovered it didn't help much.

It was her fault that he was gone. No one else's. His years of misery were on her head. Her misery was her fault as well, but she considered it punishment for the pain she'd caused. Natsu's funeral had been impossible. She'd only gone because Gajeel had literally _picked her up _and took her there. She'd balled. She'd expected to be hated. No one said anything though. She knew they blamed her though.

Who else was there to blame?

Setting the glass down, she ignored the ringing phone, and walked into her bedroom. Oh, she knew what to do.

"_Until the night, she put that bottle to her head,_

_And pulled the trigger, and finally drank away his memory._

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger,_

_Than the strength she had to get up off her knees…" _

Levy threw open the door to Lucy's house. _No, no, no_ she chanted in her head. No. There was no way. No, god she had to be wrong. So Lu hadn't answered her phone call last night. No biggie. She was grieving. But…Gray had said Natsu hadn't answered his phone _that_ that night either.

_Lu is not Natsu. _She told herself. _But they've both been drinking themselves to death for years, _a little part of her whispered. Nearly crying already, Levy had called Juvia, telling her that she was going to Lucy's house to check on her. Juvia had agreed to meet her later, telling her that she would bring chocolate to give to Lucy.

Levy hadn't told Juvia what she feared.

The apartment was quiet. A bottle of whiskey and a half-full shot glass rested on the counter.

"Lu!" She yelled.

She knew the moment her hand touched the cold doorknob that led to Lucy's room.

"_We found her with her face down in the pillow,_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life,_

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow,_

_While the Angels sang a whiskey lullaby." _

* * *

**Honestly, I don't know why I wrote this. I found this song again while surfing YouTube, and it just popped up before the song even finished. I wrote it quickly. I almost cried. I'm a horrible human being. But have some NaLu Angst. **

**The song is "Whiskey Lullaby" by ** **Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss. It's an easy find on YouTube if you wanna listen. I apologize to anyone that cried during this. **

**I would appreciate any reviews-and any more songs you think I could write a Songfic about. Shoot me a song and a couple, and I'll see what I can do. ((I don't make any promises.)) I love more ideas though. If you've got a prompt you'd like to see done, I may be able to do that too. **

**I am in college, and obviously college work trumps FanFics, but I do like doing them. Writing is calming for me. Enjoy guys, and I promise the other works I have up on here aren't so sad. **


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